By THIRD ROUND*
Satire of academic productivism.
capes: second person singular present subjunctive of capr
(extracting the reproductive organ of an animal, castrating, maiming).
not to be confused with capis,
in Latin, the second person singular of the present tense of captain
(take, grab, conquer),
even because this implies
the idea of an addition
is that,
that of subtraction.
As far as humans are concerned, however,
the action of capping usually takes place
on an eminently spiritual plane
and implies a not always easy process of convincing.
The laureate researcher tells the beginner:
Don't shy away from the perpetual motion of production,
publish regularly and copiously,
become an efficient device.
You will then be rewarded
with funds, even if small,
with the recognition of your peers
and a meritorious score in your program.
The world turns and
science cannot wait ten years
until you conclude
thy ever protracted investigation.
Furthermore, after that time,
maybe you didn't come to any conclusion!
An annotated translation of Homer?
Know that it will only count
like creative writing.
Therefore, on behalf
of innovation,
of entrepreneurship,
of the highest-grade program,
of the patents to come,
I earnestly ask you to
be sensible
and scores like everyone else
and capes,
once and for all,
your rashes (however fair they may be)
so that,
together with us,
survive.
* Round Round Professor of German Literature at USP.
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